Today we focus on self esteem. We were asked to put what we were taught as a child that we apply to life today. I explained I had a mental block until my dad came into my life. After much prying we concluded that I always put me last because I have already been saved and now I place myself to fix others. Beating myself up when I cant. I see it now when I look back on the children I loved as my own. I TRIED to be the mom they deserved but I could never be. I failed.. I loved their dad unconditionally and tried to hard to fix the smallest problems only making them bigger.. even looking back on that where I loved so much I was played courted in the beginning given the attention the affection and love to being used. I stayed the same person, loving, giving and ev, ntually making his family my own and above my own. And my heart goes out to all he does that to.. he didnt love who I was he loved all I gave to lve and be loved. I loved so much and unappriciated. I tried to save my ex husband who was obsessed with me so I stayed to not hurt him.. and as I go through what Im going through I look for dad to save me as I cant myself. I have a huge fear of rejection and try to be the perfect person. I try to hard to be loved and accepted. I isolate from others because of this and only allow the troubled in.. making ke mre depressed when I fail at anything in lfe.