Sitting with radio going.. watching kids play and well.. weakness.. failure.. typical day. Therapy found a root to my depression and I cant fix it.. I cant and wont change who I am its what everyone loves.. that I care enough to put their needs before mine.. there I said it.. but it goes so much deeper.. everyday deeper.. to much to take on at once and have done so good to not resort to the easy ignore it and drink.. but now live numb and emotionless.. fearing rejection.. feeling rejection that things may change and if I had a heart it might break it. Everything that has been my purpose must change.. carrying my dads legend must die? Put me first? Wth? My purpose for 7 years was two kids and a man I loved.. to new purposes and they are wrong?
A Little Corner of Sanity 