Why birds stay

I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question

I as my therapist says, right now I can’t handle things like stress, drastic changes in life,  arguments, and so on.  Every little thing is poison coming in, and I need to release it to get it out.. but how do you get poison out of something that’s already poisonous. I screw up and am to blame for everything that’s going on right now because as I was told last night “why can’t you look at things positive instead of looking at why you have to be here”  I really wish if someone could take 2 days in my shoes each day and see where I am emotionally and mentally, and with the depression, the self harm, they could see exactly why.   I am for once getting help and the help isn’t helping.. it leaves a person feeling helpless and hopeless, like there is no end to the tunnel.
I’m tired of people saying they understand but they do not have a clue, they continue to say things that they know will set me off, simple things like “maybe one day you will care about me”  Or “why even try” If you have to question your relationship or anything in life such as jobs, friends, well then you already have your answer.  I can’t handle the instability, I have always been well grounded, stable, independent, strong-willed and thick-skinned.  Now I’m so fragile I just think its best to keep my mouth shut, gods hands on my shoulders to guide me, and the will power to get all that back and find the strength, but when I try, and I try and I try, with getting help, trying to control stuff out of my control like the self harm, the scars that appear more and more, I don’t know where hope lies.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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