Tiggers, Or is it Triggers

I wish it was a story of whinny the pooh.
Ah Triggers, I make notes in my head of my depression, now of the seizures and the other stuff my PCP manages for me.  I st at home all week, all day, all night.  It can get depressing, the sit and wait game is depressing, The answer I finally got and to know for 7 months its been going on and god knows the damage. Depressing.  But I this time have coping skills a little better, I have thoughts of Suicide but my dad would be pissed had I not listened when he sent me back the first time.  My cutting has dropped to a minimum where the punisher doesn’t come out so much.  Only when Its my fault of something and punishment is needed, or when he knows that I just need to know I am still human and I still bleed like a real person. I have learned that I can not cower to people and must stand up for myself, no one else can do it.  Maybe I have become to blunt at times but Im the only one who will do it so people know and are not blinded.  There are so many triggers to depression, anxiety and Self-mutilation.  There are also so many who just feel alone, they are reaching for help and we are not even noticing in our buys careers, home life and so on.
Most of my triggers are fear, the meds, the weight gain ( I know shut up dana you went from a size 1 to a 3) the fact that I feel like being on 3 anti depressants and two anxiety pills hell I should be doing cartwheels but even with meds sometimes a person needs to break down and that is okay.  It is really okay.  For myself I do it alone so no one can see me, its a weakness to me, then I cry more because Im made and alone doing it.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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