I feel like all I am is a let down. No matter what I do its wrong. My brothers pissed because I scheduled dinner two weeks ago. I plan things ahead. He agreed. Mis week I ask him again.. He has to let me know then the day of he throws all sorts of stuff at me when I said he has all the time in the world for his wife’s family. Bow its I am the one who dropped my family for a man and his family, thats partially true I guess. Then he tells me I Iost it and this is why we don’t talk. Some person after my suicide attempt said I was dead to him.
Friends are fee and far between but hell even last week, Rick got pissed because he got to buffalo wild wings, before charlie could get of work to pick me up. Knowing we always sit at the bar he got a regular table then mad I want the bat table where we know the staff. So he left.
My friend apparently decided our buddy system since group wasnt good enough guess failed her tok as she is going back to outpatient.
Im told I dont care of others feelings which is the last thing on earth of me. I got told because I was thinking of others at that
Maybe its the not feeling well. Sundays seem the worst, maybe just the week catching up. I want to sleep all the time, maybe my brains way of not facing all thats going kn. Im still sticking to my walking and reading at night. Tonight feels as if theres a bowling ball on my chest with pressure. My vision keeps going blurred and I have no more options. Live with it until it all goes completely bad.