Keepin on & Stayin alive

So, I wrote the title of this and then I stepped away to really think about what to write. In the process I piddled around with work stuff, Yahtzee with buddies, pinterest scanning, read up on some sports, made some draft picks and the morning usual’s and now here I am again.

So here it goes. But, first a humorous Quote from Pinterest:
Guys & Gals:

You know a he/she is mad when they starts off a sentence with:
“I just find it funny how”
Because 99.9% of the time.. They doesn’t find it funny!

I thought it was funny but at the same time probably very accurate. It actually said ‘A girl’ but I think it can go for both sexes. Now, I will be subconsciously paying attention to if I ever (or guys) say “I find it funny how.. ”

Anywho, Let’s get on the topic of romantic relationships. Boyfriend/girlfriend, Husband/wife, Live in Partners, and so on, etc.

Everywhere we see the articles: How to keep the love alive, How to rekindle lost romance, Are you meant for each other? Do you have the right partner? and things along those lines.  I see them on magazine covers, sites that I go to, to read articles and such, I don’t have a Facebook or Twitter but I am sure they are t here too.  But, it brings me to ask the question of one thing: If you were with the right person would you be reading that article?

I do not believe that a relationship is all about sex every night.  I do however believe that there should be a physical attraction.  And yes, there should be a healthy amount of love making. Whether it be once or twice a ‘week.  And maybe not even sex, maybe you just get to the foreplay or arouse each other in a different way because your too tired to go all the way.  Maybe your too old,  kidding. Older is what I meant to say. Seriously.. Don’t break anything, please.. haha 🙂 No Naked Twister!

There are saying that many should know, and yes its another that is always geared toward women but as I did with the other  one above I am going to make it mutual as I believe Men and Women are equally treated in relationships:

— You can treat them right or you can watch someone else do it. 
— Don’t be mad when someone else appreciates the person you took for granted. 
— While you were ignoring them, someone else was begging for their attention.

So many friends I have watched leave the person they love for just one reason, they had to read those articles. They didn’t feel loved, They felt that what they once had was no longer there. It happens. It happens to even the best of relationships, not just the worst. Sad but true. Then you have the saying, “The grass is greener on the other side” Well that is not so true all the time. Sometimes, you just have to water your own grass.

Yes, you should be treated right by your partner. Loved, cared for, respected those are all a must I am not saying you shouldn’t have that. I am saying that part doesn’t stay all puppies and kittens and daisy fields. The puppies and kittens grow up to be cats and dogs, but the daisy fields shouldn’t die. Strange analogy? Basically, while some things do diminish a slight bit they should still be there, and some stuff should never die, but it still needs to stay watered to stay alive and stay growing.

I can’t tell anyone what to do for/with their partners, I don’t know your partners likes/dislikes, turn ons/offs. What I can say is do something spontaneous sometimes. Something they wouldn’t expect. Don’t just do it because its their birthday, holiday or that fluffy love day they have in February. Tell them you love them often. Flirt with them as you would have 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 6 months ago. Don’t read about how to keep the romance alive, just do it.. Its not rocket science.

Maybe there will be times that it didn’t turn out how you expected, or your timing was off. Or maybe that instance right there gave you all the answers you needed. I have had my share of bad timings.  Some hurt, some I just laughed at myself and some, I knew I was a pure fool or idiot. Life goes on.

Lets play a scenario where those 3 comments and all of this plays part.  (Came across this online, a summertime story).  So,  Guys and girls:

One day a wife is at the beach with some girlfriends, as she does often as she doesn’t have to work with the job her husband has. So, they spend plenty of time at the beach. As she is sitting there she decides to ask her friend to get a picture of hers in her bikini and send it to her husband while he is working to be flirty with him during the day and let him know she misses him. She sees where he has immediately read the message. The following day he answers the text as if he had just received it. She knew he had not, but she didn’t ask him if he got it. He used to enjoy pictures of her and asked for one every day, it was just something they did. His reply was short and simple with ‘Nice bod’ and then he followed a text with something totally irrelevant to anything. ‘Nice bod?’ She thought to herself. That is something she would expect a friend to say, or a comment online. Even online she knew she would get more than that at which he would be PO’ed at of other guys. She had a beach body that many guys would have loved to have by their side and she knew it. But, the only one she wanted to have proud of having it was her husband of 9 years. The man she had noticed had gotten to where he wouldn’t touch her. She made sure intimately he was always satisfied, but she thought back and realized they had made love once in 2 months, where she had actually tended to his needs more than once a week. Her thoughts spun. ‘Nice bod’ .. she heard that from men at the beach, she heard more than that, she heard she was beautiful, sexy, hot, all of the things.  She didn’t want to hear it from them, It was meaningless from them.  She wanted to be important to him.
The couple had a bond where they were always open, they could laugh and joke on anything.  He always joked with her about her having another boyfriend and how he could come over as long as he didn’t drink his beer.  One day she made a joke of his other girlfriend as he was changing his physical appearance.  He got defensive and told her to shut up, that he hated when she said ‘that shit’. When she said she was playing he stated he was too, when his words were clearly not. 

She later confronted her husband on this issue. He immediately got very defensive on the issue. As she just tried to express how she felt he immediately jumped to conclusions that he was being accused of cheating when she didn’t say a word on it this time or about the joke incident. Sure, it probably crossed her mind subconsciously. She explained that the marriage was going stale, that they have started to drift their separate ways on other things as well and even when they are together they are so far apart. The more she tried to explain the more defensive he continued to get. The more he made her feel guilty for even saying anything because she hated heated talks and arguments and that was right where this was going to head to. That night they went to bed, he put his arm around her but sure not to have any of his body touch her as he rolled his top him over to touch the mattress. He then after just a couple minutes rolled to his end of the bed. She pulled the sheet off her and placed it between them….  

So, Ladies and gents.. that is a scenario of where those 3 sayings go hand in hand… IMO.. it went on and on but then it just got sappy and waa boo hoo and I think it cursed my internet because I lost connection for a while.. I wonder if she grabbed a Cosmo or google.. I totally would have asked Siri.. LOL *rolls eyes*

To be honest, I don’t know what I’d do.. say F*ck it. I’ve invested so much of myself in so few people at my age to try and make things work out of love and commitment. For the same outcome. Now I believe I have issues with Making things permanent such as marriage.. so I am the last person anyone should ever come to for advice. I sure sound like I know what I am talking about.. I don’t know that I would call it advice, knowledge wisdom, maybe just a ramble. How about just something for my readers to read and make it any of the above that they wish. We can go with that. 🙂

Because I am a Gemini.. Kinda Fitting.
Because I am a Gemini.. Kinda Fitting.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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