A scattered ramble of words on love.. 

A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each others present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future. So don’t rush love. Find a partner wo encourages you to grow. Someone who won’t cling to you, wo will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back. That is what true love is about. It’s always worth the wait.

Rushing into to something that isn’t all it has its potential to be, rushing into something just because you don’t want to be alone, only leads you to be right where you feared being in the first place. Trust me. I was once my worst enemy to it. I have told myself to love because I feared being alone, I have told myself to love when I thought I needed someone to keep me safe. I have told myself to love because I thought it was all there was for me. I have told myself to love because it was love, and stay with love that couldn’t work, no matter how much love there was in me. I loved with all I could to everyone but in the midst forgot how to love myself unconditionally. And when that happened, I didnt know how to be loved, so I allowed myself to not be. When I became strong enough or what I thought was strong enough to love myself and do right for myself, I couldn’t love myself, and I couldn’t allow anyone close enough to love me. 

So, you see.. Love is a vicious cycle. We are brought into this world, loved before we even got here by our parents. For those of us whom are fortunate enough. But, we are not put in a protective bubble our whole life that can keep us loved like we are when we are in our mother womb. Once we are exposed to air, we are exposed to all elements, all aspects. Self-love, love of others, love from others, it goes on and on. We have to learn from others. From the right, from the wrong. The right from the wrong. To know the difference. And most important of all is just to know how to love who we are through all the society, judgements, and so forth. 

You learn as you get older the difference between love. The wanting love, needing love, starving for love. Needing love is when you are out looking for it in all the wrong places, wanting love is when you let it start within yourself first so that you allow it to start where it should to begin with… YOU. That’s just my own personal opinion. I learned once and for all about 2 years ago, the most important love was going to be the one that always looked me in the eyes. That would be the one I woke up to for the rest of my life. The one I wanted for an eternity.  It wasn’t in some bar, a club, a social media, a book club, work, friends.. It was the one that woke up with me every morning. It was with me by my side every night. And as I wke in the morning It looked me in the eyes, it always told me I was enough, I was beautiful. My scars, my flaws, my tears, sadness, happiness, quirks. I was loved and here it was. Staring me ing the face. Me! Thats the love I wanted, thats the loved I needed. It wasn’t in the body of anyone else. That’s a bonus if its there. But, I can survive without it. i can do on my own. I can love. I can make my own do with living. Everything else is the need of a warm body.  We are taught Love is a person, a thing, a feeling. Its deeper. Its within youself. You choose your love. I choose mine. 

Do I choose to allow someone to share it with me, to join my journey? Sure. I am not saying I don’t wish to have companionship. I am only saying It isnt all love is. Especially If you dont start with yourself. 

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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