I sit and think of 5 things over the past year that have changed my life, maybe some not the proudest moments but all moments that we may need in life. All of these things have me and my mindset where it is right here, right now.
- February 17, 2016– My beautiful niece was born. Kimber Marie entered this world. It not only made me an aunt but it brought my brother and I closer once again. We have had our share of ups and downs in life. No bigger fault of one or the other. Maybe not your typical sibling rivalry either. But as we grow older we realize just how important family is. How much we need our siblings, our family and much more.
- April 1, 2016– Once again in life I was on the road again of single hood. The decision was made to separate from my best friend. Time to see our differences, time to see what wasn’t working. Time for me to see I had tried and not do as I had in the past and continue to beat myself up trying or running myself in the dirt or being told it was me, being told everything was okay when it really wasn’t. To not carry something wrong out longer than it should be as I have for months or even years overdue in the past. The time was seen that things grow apart. And I didn’t rush into looking for anything else, I didn’t rush into believing I needed love from anything but myself. It was time to work on me. We as adults have luckily been able to maintain a friendship and be roommates over a period of time. As he was my best friends for many years before and longer than anything and it was one thing I never wanted to compromise and it was something I didn’t want to risk in the first place.
- July 2, 2016– A mistake we all don’t think will ever happen to us after just a few drinks on a night out, that will forever have me changed. A DWI on the way home from a night of bowling. I stopped drinking hours before we left but that wasn’t enough. Alcohol is really evil. It can also hit hours later too. This has been a costly lesson in life. And by costly I mean for my wallet, for my pride, for my dignity, and a major wake up call. After several months of going to court and a $3000 attorney.. I later ended up with a year probation, fines from the DWI, a suspended license for 90 days, which I had back by the time court was finished.. Community service hours, and a breathalyzer on my vehicle. It has for the most part halted my drinking in life and I have little desire to do it even on nights at home. I catch myself opening a beer thinking I want one and throwing 3/4 of it away.
- September 7, 2016– Joined a bowling league. I joined the Bowlettes as something to get me out of the house once a week. An all womens league that meets once a week for 32 weeks. Something social and healthy to get involved in
- November 04, 2016– Bankruptcy! Yep, As hard as it may fall on me over the next 7 years or so. We all get in a rut with credit card debt that some of us can’t get out of. And I started young and foolish. Finally at the realization that every month here I sit making a payment for it to come back each month in interest. A rut I will never get out of. So its time for a financial restart, I have had several other restarts in life. This may be the smartest one I have made and hopefully in 7 years, when I am 43 I can finally get somewhere with life of a house and many other things with a clean slate.
- November 11, 2016- Started my second job. Just another something to keep me busy, but also get me on the right track.
- December 14, 2016– My final court date for my DWI. A weight off my shoulders but even more a clearer look at what was to come and what I need to focus on for myself to get this past me. It has made for a journey that has given me a lot to focus on for just me. No vision for working on relationships with anyone. I now work two jobs. My ‘kids’ are my two cats and now a puppy, they are what depend on me to be here every day. My outlook on life still continues to be as positive as it can since that day in November of 2013 and I work each day to keep my head up and moving forward. I am focused on work, myself and helping others. But I have also learned to be a little harder when it comes to letting others and my emotions. To some I may come off as a bitch, insensitive or otherwise. But it has become time for me to take care of myself, to be strong for myself. To be independent, for myself. To do all I can to make myself feel good about myself, and that all begins with self love and strength. 🙂 I can still see that I can be myself, happy, sad, indifferent or goofy and as long as I accept that in myself, that is all that really matters in the end.