Online Dating Part Two

You swipe left, you swipe right…. You hit the check, you hit the X, you hit maybe.  You get the notifications, you check your inbox.  You read through the messages and decide which ones to answer and not answer.  You think you found the right and wrong ones.  Maybe the wrong ones are the right ones?

Either way, People go to the dating sites for various reasons.  They are tired of the bar scenes.  Life is too busy to actually get out, but they do have time to get out for a dinner date or to chat it up with someone to get to know them first to lead up to a date.  But, lets get real.  These sites are only hear to keep us single.  They are hear to set us up for more failure in life.  Anyone can write up a nice profile to draw attention.  The only thing real out there is ME.  I am real in what I put out there for everyone, I am being real in my responses.  and I am being fished in and so far let down.  Just when I think I found something.. Jokes on me and my emotions.  and another layer of bricks is added.  At this rate, everyone is fucked.  because I don’t know that I will ever trust a single soul.  I want to, and I tell myself to, but how do I.  Just when I think I can, as I did.  It backfires.

So, now I sit and think, maybe its not the world around me.  Maybe its really just me.  It has to be right?  Because I deserve the best.  Because I have been through so much shit that I want things to be right.  Because I know what I have to offer and I want an equal?  Is that not fair to ask?  Do I want to old fashioned?  Seeing what my dad gave, wanting that? Wanting that kind of love?  Wanting a gentleman?  Wanting a Real man?  Wanting most of all Respect, love and admiration?  It has to me.  I honestly don’t ask much at all when it comes to a relationship. I am not needy, I am not materialistic.  I am a highly independent woman.  So, maybe I was meant to be single and loved by no other than myself and my dogs.  Maybe I need to stop searching, stop trying to find a companion to share life with and to give what I have to offer.  And know that it probably won’t find me, because what do I do for it to do so.  I don’t trust too many and it takes a lot to get in to even be a friend to introduce me to anyone.  So, there is that. Kinda sad coming from someone who was once and can be such a social butterfly, yet just won’t let anyone close. 

Theres a great guy ot there, I feel it.  I just have to get the stars to align right.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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