Fool me once, shame on you… fool me twice…

There is a saying.. “Fool me once, Shame on you.Fool me twice, Shame on Me!”

I used to trust people enough not to hurt me, but that trust left me shattered too many times and became a shame on me, not anyone else.  If I have put trust in you to not hur my feelings and you do so, who does that fall back on, really?  Who put that initial trust in you?  You didn’t.  Sure you may have hurt me in some way, intentional, unintentional, what have you.  But, I ultimately put that trust there.

I guess this would be where my shield and thick skin come in- through all my hurt, through the so called ‘tough love’, I have learned the only way I hurt is if I allow it. If I allow a person to hurt me by actions, words, etc. then yeah, I will be hurt by so and only I am to be at fault. If I don’t.. then I have nothing to worry about. 

Feelings, feelings get hurt. And we can protect those.  We can control those.  And I think as we mature and get older we learn this.  Through experience, maybe not good, but through experience we learn, in our own ways, how to cope and handle. Health, maybe, unhealthy, maybe.  But until we find a easier or better way. Or until we find the right people or situation in life that we don’t need these mechanisms.  We do what we must to survive. 

Was I treated with much disrespect I did not deserve, yes. Was I abused throughout life, yes. Was I molested and raped, yes. Those weren’t out of trust. Those were fears I could not run from. Those were places I I was put in and could not escape myself from, or I was too young to get out of. That is another blog.. Those are scars and journeys I have healed.  Those were roads that got me in other places of my life I am today. Other strengths I carry.  Those are roads we have to travel, and they are long roads.. to be continued…

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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