Learn to love yourself..

Once you become single for a while you learn the most important lesson in life.  Love yourself.  Don’t seek love anywhere else but within.  If you do, you find yourself getting the love only of which you deserve.  A voided, empty love.  A love that is only self fulfilling at the time.  Are you really loving yourself to the fullest?  

I have learned in my 14 months of being single, I don’t care what happens, it will be what is meant to be. If I am meant to find someone it will happen, if Im not it won’t. I’m happy either way. I have come to terms with either.  But, it will come naturally.  It won’t be rushed or pressured and it will feel right.  If something doesn’t, I won’t peruse it and I have several red flags and warning signs on my radar. 

I went through the stage of telling myself I didn’t ever want a relationship again.  How I didn’t want the hurt, the drama, the hassle.  Telling my mom I would live just my cat and I.  Oh, how she loved those talks.. haha.  So many times I heard “Dana, you can stop the tough woman shit, everyone needs and wants to be loved”. At which I always replied,  “I can love myself, and Felix loves me and doesn’t argue” 

I went through my stage of feeling lonely in the beginning and would rebound to my comfort zone of what I knew and then beat myself up for days to follow, ashamed of my actions.  Knowing it wasn’t right or fair to my ex at the time.  But, it was a fresh break-up, we lived together and it was ‘safe’.  I have since looked back and I know now what I did was shameful and would never do so again. It was unfair to both and not the person I am or ever want to be.  It was when I finally learned I could love myself mentally and emotionally again that I could separate myself from the situation.  

I had to remember I was still a good person in my heart.  Just because I had ended a relationship, just because I could have potentially lost someone who was my best friend of 5 years prior to dating 3, I was still worth loving and not a bad individual.  What ever outcome came of it was not who I was. It’s all about a mentality.  About the heart and soul, and a couple months in, I loved myself more than I had ever in my life and was on the right track, again.  I put my love into other things I also loved in life.  Back into my writing.  I got another pet and into my love for animals.  I started to love not just myself, but the life around me.  While I love to work, I started to see that was no way to ‘love’ life.  And while I may struggle going forward, I needed to live too.  I needed time to love myself.  Time to love things I enjoyed.  My dogs, my family, my friends, little things like baseball games, my bowling league.  And this blog could go on.

But, my point is, the key to life is to learn most of all to love yourself.  Once you can do that, everything around you just kind of falls into place the way it is meant to be.  If you don’t rush things, if you don’t pressure, if you just let things fall like leaves off a tree.  Life is simply blissful.  Only control things you truly have control over, let the rest work itself out. 

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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