Plenty of fish and the Men from Mars

I know as women we are complicated at times, hell anytime says they need my help to figure one out I know I immediately say “Don’t ask me, I am a different breed from them”  but men.. Oh Man.  Literally.  haha.

Men and this new found thing called ‘dating’, if that is what you wish to call it.   (Dating is a loose term to me) but, irregardless, I have met 5 different people over the last 6 months.  Then there are some who I talk to and haven’t met or those that just phased out and I did not meet.  Of these, I was seeing one for 2 weeks.  The others were just fisherman and I was the catch and release.  I still think online dating is here to keep us single. LOL I really do get why they call it ‘Plenty of Fish’.  In the end, we are all just fish.

The first one, well, he was married come to find out in the end. so of course that is just NOT going to work.. yet, he still would reappear in my texts.  For when he got lonely I guess.  I eventually had to just block him in my phone.  He was one out for one thing and I knew that about him, especially being as he was married. Hell, when he came back around texting and asking to hang out he was still married and went on about how unhappy he was.  The funny thing is, you can find anything on the internet.  He was trying to live a double life.

The second one, I tried the relationship thing with.  He, and although, I tried to see through him, was a verbally abusive alcoholic. It lasted all of 2 weeks if that before I get fed up with the “I’m Sorry”, “I was just mad” and “It won’t happen again’s”. Once I cut ties with him, he did just go away with a simple “Take Care” message.

The third one, I have talked about this one.  He is the one who text me asking if he could pay me for sex.  He has told me not once, but twice he and I will not work, he doesn’t want a relationship, and the lets hang out as friends.  Each time he comes back around.  I told him I was tired of 3 months of Cat & Mouse, just to hang out and then be told to go away, because he is afraid of feelings.  I think I have him figured out, he wants his cake and to eat it too.  He is one of those that doesn’t want to commit, but wants one woman to hang around.   I am not judging that,  hell if we could all have that why not.  But, You don’t keep telling someone to go away and reel them back in.  This isn’t fishing no matter what Plenty of Fish wants you to think.  When we started talking again and I told him it was my turn to say Nope, he told me to calm down as he would be out of town, but as soon as he got back we would hang out.  And in the 5 days I have heard from him once,  only because he had a question about seating at Globe Life Park.

The fourth one, well, he was an interesting one to meet.  We went on two dates, back to back.  Both went great, we got along great.  I had the most fun I had had in a while and thought at first this guy can’t be real.  Everything was sounding too good to be true.  Well, it was.  He told me he was more compatible with an entrepreneur.  Me, knowing this had to be a cop out, because he knew before the first date I was not as such.  So, for a week and a half he went silent and I did not hear from him.  To one day he appears in my texts.  I was a bit standoffish and short with him.  I mean, he made it clear.  So, then I ask him.. “Why did you Really message me?”  He replied with, “Sex”.   I told him to lose my number as I was done.  It was disrespectful.  He came back stating it was a joke..  Again, I said no it was disrespectful.  So, now he continues to text but still beats around as to what it is he is really messaging for.  But, what I do know is this.. I don’t like games.

And number five, we had a fun night out and still talk but another one who is hard to read.  He is obviously interested or he wouldn’t still be talking to me, right?  But when I start to get to talking about what he is looking for, he dodges it every time.   I explained that the dating scene to me is not seeing several guys at the same time and then trying to figure out which one works at that point.  I am a loyal person and if I am interested, I am interested and that is that.  But, If they are not interested, don’t let me invest time into getting to know you, because chances are, someone will end up emotionally hurt.   I don’t chase, beg or ask anyone to like me.

Now the real question at hand is: Why do men want to be chased after?  When they realize I will not chase them, they start to come back around.   I don’t have time to chase anyone, I can hardly get time to chase my dog around the backyard.  If you tell me to go, I’m gone.  If you appear you want ONE thing only, I am gone.  But, there are three things you don’t fuck with, My head, my heart and my family.

So, the mind games and fucks are not needed.  At this point, I am not out to pressure anything and do want to let things flow naturally in all aspects, via talking, hanging out and if it happens, it happens.  But, there still has to be some sort of sign of intelligent life that is even interested.   Don’t catch me and keep throwing me in the water on the same line and hook reeled me in with.   I am getting dizzy trying to keep up with how dating works, how men’s brains work.  All of it.  It is so much and I see now why I have voted to just stay single.  My dogs and cat don’t argue, they don’t confuse me (too much),  they are loyal.  I think that is really the only way I am going to find loyalty in my life, unless I go get a Loyalty reward card somewhere.. haha.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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