Different kinds of Love

There are many different kinds of love, and I don’t think you can really label them until you have experienced them. Until your emotions have been through them.

1. The Fairy Tale Love

We grew up watching this type of love on movie screens, in TV shows, and hearing bedtime stories of the prince and the princess. It’s the love we all aspired to have and assumed would be easy to find.

It’s the starry-eyed love, usually happens when we are young, most likely in high school. We go into it thinking that this will be our one and only ‘love’ and who cares if it doesn’t feel quite right? We probably don’t even know true love at this point, but we think we do. Who cares if we find ourselves having to swallow personal truths to make it work? Deep down we believe this is what love is supposed to be.

We hold the opinions and views of others above our own wants and needs. Because how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.

2. The Hard Love

This is the kind of love that hurts. The kind of love that brings you to your breaking point over and over and eventually brings you to your knees, sobbing alone wondering where it all went wrong, or if it was ever right. It hurts because it’s all lies, pain, and manipulation. This relationship teaches us lessons about who we are as a person, but mostly it teaches us what we don’t want in life and in relationships.

It’s destructive, unstable, or self-centered even. There may be emotional, mental, or physical abuse and manipulation – but no matter what, there will always be drama. Just like your favorite movie or book, what keeps us addicted to this storyline is the drama. It’s the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows, and like a junkie trying to get their fix, you stick through the loops, the twists, the turns, and the lowest of lows with the expectation and hope of one single high. It’s when you confuse a lesson for a soulmate.

This is the kind of love where trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.

It’s the love we wished was right, and when it doesn’t work out – because it will never work out – you feel defeated but you know it was for the best. It would have been the love that killed you had it tried to work any longer.

3. The Storge Love

The love that comes after you have tried to make a false fairytale love, found the hard love that has made you afraid to be alone and you end up here. It’s a love that has developed elsewhere. A childhood love maybe, a platonic love of sort, a friendship. But you try to make it into something more, your mind tells you it’s more. Your broken heart confuses the love and you try to make a new fairy tale. Again, it is another love that no matter how much you try, it is not going to work. It will never be a love beyond the platonic love, you won’t have the long term similarities. You won’t ever see eye to eye. You two won’t ever fit.

4.The You-Never-Saw-Coming-Love

This is the love that comes out of left field when you’re looking right. It’s the one that usually looks all types of wrong yet destroys any remaining ideas we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the one that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible or real for that matter. It seems surreal. Because if things seem too good to be true, they probably are, right? So, now you’re just waiting for the part where things go wrong – but to your surprise, it’ll never come.

The connection can’t be described and it knocks us off our game because we never planned for it. Everything just seems right and you two just fit – there aren’t any expectations about how each person should be behaving, nor is there pressure to become someone other than who are already are.

We’re accepted for exactly who we are, and to be honest, it scares the hell out of you. This kind of acceptance completely shakes you, and your every belief in love, to their very core.

It isn’t what we pictured our love life to look like, not by a long shot. But still, it manages to destroy any and all preconceived notions and shows us that love doesn’t have to be how we see and read about in movies, shows, and books in order to be true.

This is the love that keeps us on our toes and allows us to see the best version of ourselves. This is the love that everyone deserves, and hopefully, will one day find.

Maybe we don’t all get the chance to experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn’t before we can grasp what it is.

But if you ask me, I think whoever makes it to their forth or fifth love – no matter how long it takes – are the real lucky ones.

The ones who feel like giving up after constant heartbreak and disappointment, but yet, they don’t, they keep trying, they keep giving love “one more shot”. The ones who have all but given up and we’re on that verge of accepting singlehood.

That may not seem as romantic, although it is much more meaningful. Fate would mean that there is someone out there destined for you to meet.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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