Strength in Numbers

My strength has come in numbers.

While most of my numbers are more negative than positive, I get my strength from the positive and let that carry me further than ever.

Numbers of people around me that are my support. Numbers in my bank account as I pay my bills and it is slowly dropping while I look for a job. Numbers as I have to look take help and make a list of what I will need to pay back. The fact that I have to suck up the pride and take help. Numbers of rejected interviews, and numbers of unresponsive job applications.

Then we go to the number of doctors appointments and tests that are leading to no answers. The number of days I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am not one to say much when I am not feeling well. I push through it. All I want to do is sleep, which I am sure is both not feeling well and a hint of depression from not working. The need for Cobra to continue the doctors and the want to stop Cobra and the doctors because I feel I am not getting anywhere. It’s stressful. And as my mom keeps telling me.. ‘Stressing isn’t going to make it any better’

Well.. that’s easier said than done when you are on the outside looking in. 😔 I will say I have been stronger through this than I would have been even a couple years ago. I have allowed the man in my life to help not only with financial ways but by allowing him to love me and not push him away. I have let him see the real me, for who I am. All of me. And I don’t ever want to see life without us in it. Because I know he accepts me for me, all of me, including the imperfections.

Our trip to Vegas was wonderful and much needed. I didn’t follow up on it but will this weekend for those of you who didn’t follow on FB (My NCR stalkers.. LOL) 🙂

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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