Scrolling through some old blogs and funny to think this was written 10 years ago. Not that I disagree with much that I said but reflecting on my writing back then to now just makes me realize a lot more with life today.


complacency updated
Current mood:  understimulated
Category: Romance and Relationships

was posted on 12.13.08 but completely redone on 2.4.09

What is complacency?
a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.
Theres only one problem with this when it comes to any factor in life.  Relationships, work, life.
What good is happiness if we allow it to become complacency, and lose it? What good is our reason if we don’t use it, and it becomes dull? What good is our virtue if we don’t love, and it vanishes?
In our jobs we become complacent thinking that it will always be there, we tend to slack on what we do not really caring until it’s almost to late.
In life we stop and just say.. everything right now seems to be okay so why try to  make it better or continue when it seems okay.

But there is a problem when it arises in a relationship.  The love is still there yes, but it becomes stale.  You get yourself to where you have yourself believing you are secure enough to not have to care anymore, whether this be through appearance or through what you show your partner.  You stop caring all together.  Why save the best for special days, and not treat each day as special? Why go the extra mile in a new relationship and let your standards drop when you feel safe or comfortable? It is important to feel comfortable with your partner and also very easy to become so relaxed that you stop making the effort for each other, you don’t feel the need to let them know as you feel they should know it and they don’t need to feel it all the time they should “Just know” so why should you worry, why should you even think about it. what do you do when you hear I didn’t think of you or us because we are okay.  When you love and care for someone don’t they cross your mind least every once in a while?  or are our other things in life above that thing that should be there with you forever?
The flame that should aways be there dwindles.  And you tell yourself that everything is okay and there is no need to worry about this person, to think of them as you normally used to, to do the things you used to and there is no need to try anymore because in you mind It’s all okay.
So is it selfish to be on the other side of this?  You understand but at the same time you want to FEEL the love not just Know the love. To alway have that burning fire on occasion,  to relight it at times or at least know that it still kindles a little.  To want that passion in relationships just as we all have with in ourselves, our lives and the things we do each day.  You ask if this means that your partner is getting bored with you, losing interest in you or is it a means you are now stable, can trust and comfortable. But even at that most wonder why has the romance died, to notice the changes in things that are done to show this passion and interest in the intimacy of the relationship, the love-making or the time spent just together, hugging or kissing or holding hands all the things that were once there.  Or is it common for this to all just die and say oh well and not worry.  If the Little things that happened for years ends what do you think of it?
If your comfortable and stable shouldn’t you still be doing the same things to let them know that the romance has in fact not died.  That the fire is still there.
Complacency can melt away like the snow if you recognise that by making more effort, your relationships can be rekindled.
Pay attention to what you have.. what you want to keep, what you want to lose in life.  Really think about the things.. because you never now when you last moment will be with whatever it is. a relationship, a family member, a pet or a favorite item.. you never know when any of this could all be taken away from you and you never even suspect it.   Tell those you love often as I can never stress enough… it could end up being to late.  Never let love die, always keep it alive. Don’t ever give your partner reason to feel insecure, or as if you are not attracted to them. Compliments go a long way.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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