Where have I been? Yeah, I see some of you checking in when there haven’t been posts much this month yet the views go up as you continue to check on me to see when I pop up. So, here I am.. In black and White. With so much to say but no formation to say it in.
I know I have not written much this month and there is much reason for it, when I WANT to write nothing comes to mind. When I NEED to write, everything is on my mind. There is no in between. There is no happy medium that there is really a want/need and desire all at the same time lately. I know if I sit down when I NEED to write it can be a escape, but at the same time my words flow and flow and it becomes a very long post. Nobody has time for that.
Now that Dad’s B-day is over I will battle the holidays. And then comes February. This time of year is always a bit of a downer for me. Its Seasonal depression that tries to attack my Major Depressive Disorder and it an everyday battle to find the medium. To not let the small part take over the big part. And then… Well then you have my coping mechanisms, Work my ass off, stay busy making sure those who mean the world to me are taken care of in everything in life, including the happiness. (Even though I feel I am failing there on many aspects, Maybe that’s another blog, another day) Pushing myself even harder to not feel that way, and then I have added in the Gym as a release.
And Today, well today is just another cold, rainy day while I sit here to check in with my readers and have a needy dog making it very difficult. haha. That being said, I will check in again later. Its time to go cuddle with the one who is always anxious to see me, and that It appears to be the one I rush home to anymore.