Know your place

It’s always hard to figure out you place as a step parent or in a supportive role in a child’s life who has divided households and parents. Especially when you are living with one of them.

The child sees you as ‘not their parent’, The parent sees you as someone who they trust to help raise their child in the best way. But, it’s still all about knowing your place.

It’s a constant walk on eggshells. And it’s not easy. No-one said it would be. And you know that. Or atleast I am letting you know that now if you are reading this.

Here’s an example: While speaking to the child one night, she states that the book we bought her needs to go the her mothers house as her mother lost the copy that she bought. The father explains to her that it is then her mothers responsibility to replace it if she lost the copy. While the girlfriend tries to help with the child whom is arguing the conversation and the father is allowing the engagement, the child just continues to argue. As the girlfriend states to the child they are not/she is not trying to upset her yet only explain the dad holds his hand up to her as to tell her to be quiet. And so she does. And then takes everything that was said and washes it with the fact that now, it’s her book and she can do as she wants. So, while you two were on the same page, a little manipulation goes a long way for the child and you are now sitting to know your place by a hand being put up to silence you.

It’s in all instances like this though that you can not become upset. You just have to know/learn your place as to when it’s ‘okay’ to help, or if it is even okay. You are not their parent and you know that. You also don’t want to just be there to be a ‘friend’ the whole time because if you are and do become an active step-parent to this child it will bite you in the ass later on.

Just a little hands on advice for my readers. Have a great week and stay warm.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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