just another meh’nic Tuesday?

I haven’t blogged in a bit because well, I have been tired. Emotionally.. mentally..

While I am not an insecure person, my anxiety and depression are an insecurity that leads to other insecurities. the reason may be in the past, in relationships especially I have been made to feel no one wants or will want me, that there will always be better out there, etc.

After a week long ‘vacation’ with the better half’s family it’s back to work this week. On top of that, my baby.. yes the dog, is having another surgery. So I am a ball of anxiety and tension worried about that. I also always hate the first few days back after spending every day with the man I love. I have never had that feeling this far in where I miss him when we are apart. Hell, after a week with anyone I was ready to be back to work because by that point we were arguing.. haha.

So, tonight I sit here alone, anxiety pain in my chest, the dog finally laying in my lap as she goes tomorrow for her surgery. I know she will be better after but it’s still the procedure, the recovery, the expenses that are being put out, and so on. It hurts me to know she will be hurting. And while I am still dealing with my medications leveling out as I just did my first increase on my anti-depressant It’s been a roller coaster.

The other half has his stuff going on, his ex, his mom, his daughter and I feel I am not here nearly enough as even an ear to talk to, as he spends his massage when he should be relaxing and instead talking about it. Maybe had I been there better he could enjoy is massage better. 😔 Just a feeling, and probably also my anxiety taking over. I am a very empathetic person and that I do not doubt, but I feel like I can always do more and could/should do more.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: