For a tear… a beer… no wait… of the year, yeah, that’s it.. *shrugs* the last two days have been emotional feeling. Maybe it’s with Christmas just around the corner. Dads favorite holiday, Grandmas favorite holiday, and my most scroogiest holiday. My mom is finally off my case on it as she is not really ‘celebrating’ this year either and is mad at someone as always over gift giving for her grandkids.. takes the pressure off me there.. haha.
Thanksgiving was easier to get through as the holiday and missing dad as I stayed very busy with helping Matt and his family with everything while we were in Florida.
I am sure it’s also the feeling of being tired, stressed, keeping up with everyone and everything that everyone has going on and making sure everyone else is okay. I will have 105 hours worked in 2 weeks, that in itself is enough to wear a person down, I suppose.
I haven’t been to the gym in a month. When I eat my stomach is in knots. At night I am having weird dreams. Of things happening to the dog, health issues, of things happening to family members, of being left in the relationship, of not being enough, that they found someone else and didn’t want me around.. and so on and so on. I am constantly in a mind twirl of what needs to get done and be done for the next day to make sure everyone and everything is taken care of and it doesn’t slow down.