I have never been one to be open with my thoughts and feeling with anyone, and that sometimes included myself.
I have been working to correct that with myself and those I believe care. Both on good a0nd bad. It jus0t seems the more open I am, the more others back off, get upset, treat me different, or just completely shut down.
Being open leaves us vulnerable, I guess that’s why I always had trouble. I don’t like vulnerable. I was always the woman behind 12 foot walls to protect myself. Opening up leaves us exposed for hurt, let downs and sensitivity. Leaving us to wear our hearts wide open and on our sleeves.
I come here alot just to try to clear my head, to get the hamster to stop funding. To face facts and to hopefully be able to come back and say I conquered whatever my thoughts and feeling are. I also know that in here I can be heard, by myself and to myself when spoken, and not look too crazy by having a outlook conversation with myself.. haha.
I have always been better and writing my words and to get them out freely, always been one of actions. When I speak I am calculated to be sure I say it the best I can, when I write I just let it flow.