After a year of failed dating, online dating, and simply finding men only out for one thing I had all but given up hope. I had my share of upsets and disappointments. One man who after our date, his wife contacted me, another who was abusive in his ways that was a short lived couple weeks, and the ones who figured they could hit it and quit it. I was done thinking there was someone out there who could love me the way I deserve or for me to love they way I knew to give that deserved it. I was always told you get the love you deserve, and in many ways I believed it, as it had a lot to do with loving myself and when I didn’t, I allowed shitty behaviour. But this time, I knew I did NOT deserve what I was attracting. I made friends with a couple whom I still talk to that just wasn’t meant to go in a romantic way. But the dating was getting exhausting, especially while working 2 jobs and dealing with a room mate I could not get rid of. I remember telling my mom just days before that I was going to just grow old with Felix and Nike and the animals love along with my love for myself was all I needed.
My last and final dating site to join was E-harmony. An account I was sure, if I didn’t allow my mom to pay for and open, that she would have made me a mail order bride as she said I was not meant to be alone and she was sure there was someone out there. Her thought was instead of using free sites like POF and whatever else there was that paying a high dollar amount would find people who were serious about wanting to find romance, a person whom may be forever, and not just someone who would ghost you if they didn’t get what they wanted.
On this day, for whatever reason after a couple months of not logging in, I decided to login to my E-Harmony account. I had a dozen and a half or so of unread messages and I scrolled through the preview of the box, sceptical to open one but I was bored, it was late in the evening and I didn’t have the energy to go out. It was then that just one message caught my eye. I didn’t read the entire message first, but went to the profile of the user. He came off as someone who was charming, smart, handsome, and had his shit together and knew what he wanted and needed in life. To be honest after all the other men I met, this seemed to good to be true, it had to be a robot.. later finding out.. his message kinda was.. haha.
We had much in common just in our profiles alone. So, back to the message I went and read it. The question asked “If you were stuck in an elevator with one celebrity who would it be?” My answer was Henry Connie Jr. Because well, he can act, sing and all else fails he has a Talk show for my nervous break down I may have being trapped in an elevator. After about an hour of exchanging messages we decided to exchange numbers and talk on the phone for a bit. It was pleasant, there wasn’t any pressure and out the gate I was being myself.
It was a month of talking on the phone, e-harmony and via text just about daily. Between his schedule with his daughter and my working weekends and night on my second job, it just didn’t work out that there was a time to meet up. But in all honesty. that was fine with me because if we were still keeping each others interest without meeting, there was more likely a chance in my opinion. And in that month he remained a gentleman in the messages, complimentive, sweet, and just down to earth, Even if this didn’t go where we may have hoped I felt at least a friendship could have formed regardless and I was okay with making friends first and foremost.
After meeting on a not so cold day in December and starting to date, it has been nothing but memories, nothing but stories and something you readers will need to wait for when I tell more ..
I am forever thankful we found each other. Thankful for taking one last chance. For allowing my walls to be torn down and not only exposing, but giving him my heart.