It’s hard..

I am sure this blog may come off wrong,, there are parts that have no easy way to write it, but I know there are some who willing understand..

I’m sure any parent can tell you raising kids is hard. They don’t come with a book of instructions or how to’s. Your friends and parents can offer advice, but no two are the same. Each has their own personalities, their own things that set them off, their own behaviors and so on. So the advise tends to be from their experiences, and maybe not so much your issues at hand. But, you bet your ass your willing to try anything when it comes to parenting.

It’s hard, it’s even harder when your not the parent. You’re allowed to be disrespected, you’re allowed to be pushed, your allowed to be whatever it is that is in the moment. And you just have to grin and bear it. And then it’s even harder when it’s more so excused because you just “need to accept that they are a teenager and this is how they are going to act”. Sadly, enough if it was your child, you would not allow it. And it would not be allowed. It wasn’t allowed when you were a teenager to your parents. It’s not how you were raised, teenager or not there was no excused for treating people so badly. And to then expect and get in return.

Going into relationships with people whom have children is hard, as is vise versa I am sure. You are not only opening your heart and vulnerability to a partner but to another human being. But, you are choosing this and you know this going in, so there’s no one to look at but yourself in the mirror. I to this day have no regrets in this regard, but I won’t say it’s been easy at times. My hearts been broken on many occasions. Broken by lies. Broken by disrespect. Shattered by feelings of hatred. But at the end of each day I have to go to bed telling myself, I choose this life. And some days are hard. But when you find your life partner you make sacrifices.

It’s hard at times, here as a woman with no children of her own. You finally find a man you believe in spending forever with and the sacrifices are of two.. one being that he doesn’t want any more children, so you will never have any chance of even trying for one, and two the troubles and kicks, heartaches and breaks while you fight for the love from his that you may never completely win. And again, I don’t regret these sacrifices I have made, I have rightfully chosen them.. why? For a bigger picture. For a love that will last a lifetime, or so I hope, and if that proves me wrong well shame on me, right… haha. In seriousness though, yes, for a chance at a lifetime and life with a man I love. You have to give to receive in life and had I not, I would have missed out on what is yet to come for us as we grow together on this journey.

I never doubt his daughter adores me, she likes me around, she likes what I do for her, she loves my dog, I don’t believe she would ever want me too go anywhere. Mostly because of the things I do for her, and because I do my best to make her dad happy. And when she’s in her 30’s maybe then she will see everything I was trying to help her grow. Everything I was doing just as my dad did for me when he came into my life about the same time, really. Or, maybe she won’t. It will all be up to her. I also know, I can’t force it, I can’t make her. I can’t be here though and play the best friend role either while I am in the step mother position, as that will never get me respect, and I can’t try to be full blown mother either. I can only try to be that happy medium as I have.

Author: Dana Gidner-Kristal

perfectly imperfect

Spill your brains...

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