Maybe I am a simple creature in my own ways, or maybe I have let my walls down enough, my pride down enough and have stripped some of my independence and have just become that needy. Which if its the later part, well that’s not good at all I don’t guess.
I know I can be my worst critic, my worst enemy when I fall short, or when things go ‘wrong’, or just when I have had a bad day or am feeling a little down. When my depression tends to hit, I even get a little hard on myself because I just hate it and hate that anyone around me has to face it with me. I will beat myself up over just about anything that isn’t of good and get so deep in my head that the gear just continue to spin on what I should have done different and all the things I didn’t do right and all the things wrong with ME. But, I will also pay attention to the vibes and what goes on in my surroundings and all the feels that come off it.
Now here comes the, probably what I question is the neediest part of it all. Breaking the above cycle, Stopping those gears. In one simple way that way being of having the place I feel the safest embrace me, to tell me everything is okay, that I in fact am human and if its what permits, that mistakes are made. That place being none other than the arms of my Husband. The hug or the embrace, that strong hold in any form that makes everything at peace, the kiss on the forehead that slows it all down.
It doesn’t sound like a lot, but maybe at the end of the day it really is asking for a lot, needing a lot. And while it doesn’t sound like a lot. It is the world. It is my world. It is the place I am home.